Indian wedding planning guide

Planning a wedding? Don't stress! Here are some tips to make the process flow more smoothly.

Articulate your vision

The bride and groom should each begin by writing at least one full page of their "dream" wedding. This will help them to see what is and is not important for the day. Go wild with ideas and sort through the reality of those ideas as you plan.

Manage your budget

Be clear about your full budget -- if others are participating in the funds, know what they are willing to give in the beginning so that you can plan around the figures. Sometimes a bride or groom will say that his mom and dad will pitch in but they are unclear how much.

Make it your own

Go ahead and personalize your wedding -- one bride and groom I worked with named the tables after events in their relationship -- i.e. First Xmas, trip to Hawaii. A photo of that event served as a table locator instead of a number, Vendors see lots of great ideas and may be happy to offer them to you if you ask.

Get the price right

Read all contracts carefully. Make sure that you understand what you have agreed to. Know ahead if the band will stay later if you and your friends want to dance longer, and know what the price will be. You don't want a several hundred-dollar surprise.

May I have that in writing?

If you make any change in your contracts before the event, ask for a confirmation in writing. If they are not willing to do so, you write it up and snail or email to the vendor. Make sure that they receive it and agree. If you have decided to change the floral colors to periwinkle and rose because the attendant's dress color changes, you want to know that the florist got the change.

Keep the peace

Communicate with all members of your families what events will take place, at what time, locations and attire if necessary. People like to know in advance what is planned. I remember a stepmom who was expected to be at two semi-formal events and knew very few details. She was asking me since there was poor communication and tension in the family dynamics. Deal up front and early on.

Confirm, confirm, confirm

A few weeks before the wedding, confirm in writing with all vendors, especially noting any changes, no matter how small. Ask them to sign and fax back (or email) their agreement. At a recent wedding that I coordinated I asked the other vendors what was the worst wedding mistake they had seen, and two of them said a caterer that did not show up. Mistakes in scheduling can happen, even with the best organizations. I believe that this final confirming should be in writing.

Create a timeline of the day

Do some research and find out how to make a timeline -- it enables a family member or guest to know what to expect that day and call for help if something does not happen as it is planned. Someone who is helping on the day can know what all plans are and supervise arrivals etc.. It's very common to find your work colleagues standing around when they arrive as they o not know which side to sit on or where to sit - remember most rarely attend an Indian wedding !

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